Broken

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6cdPeYJh0s&ob=av2e

I'm not sure why, but this song is how I'm feeling today. Must be all the snow...wetness, slushy, dark. I drove back from a quick jaunt into town feeling sad and heavy hearted. I'm missing my dad. I feel like my life is going by so quick in front of my eyes and I can't say that I'm loving every minute of it. Maybe it's that I turned 40 and I'm having a mid life crisis. I don't know. I know there are many positive aspects of my life, but I miss our family and close friends. I'm sure if the sun starts to shine tomorrow I'll be proclaiming how fantastic my life is. Please bear with me and my rollercoaster of emotions!
In other news, my van wouldn't start this morning. Probably for the fact that it had a soaking wet battery from my swamp driving and I haven't started it in a couple of days. Shay and I went to use our handy dandy battery starter, but lo and behold, it wasn't charged. I am ashamed to say I said words that are not too fitting for a lady. I did manage to jump start the van using the truck and it seems to be running like a hot damn. Somewhere along the way I've lost the second set of truck keys, so that will be causing my hubby to share some very unladylike words with me.
It is my middle son's 12th birthday today. I was coming off of night shifts so I couldn't do too much celebrating, but I did make him a special breakfast of pancakes. Tonight he requested McYucky's for his birthday supper, so I obliged and am having the after effects of a gut bomb. Shite...clean eating wasn't happening today...more like on the dirty side of the plate.
I have 4 glorious days off and am loving them. I have so much housework to do around here. I swear we were on the verge of being nominated for the hoarder's show...thankfully, I will try and put a stop to this impending ballot.
Christmas is only 30 days away and I haven't bought one present! Holy Muther Effer...but...I don't feel too stressed. I have an idea of a few things to get the kids, but they have everything. I'm just looking forward to spending some quality time with the family.
Tonight I have some floors to wash and wine to drink. Hehe..who says alcohol and cleaning doesn't mix! I'm a true multi tasker. I am on night shift mode, so I am setting up a couple of playlists and will clean to the music.
I've been on the hunt for some new music these days. Feel free to leave a comment with any suggestions of some good music choices.
Have a fantastic evening... I leave you with this clip that seems to bring a smile even to the most sullenest of moods...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tA0iLtT46fY
Stay warm!
~Jenny

Blizzardy Day

Well life as I once knew it has changed dramatically in the past few months. I have gone from a stay at home mom with oodles of time and energy on my hands to a working mom with little or no energy. I am not complaining. Well, not at this moment.
My boys have had an adjustment period as well. I think my youngest especially. He's not used to not having his mom always at home for him,but we've made it work. My husband has had an adjustment period as well...for the exact same reasons as my youngest son. Some days I find myself infuriated with him, as he can come home from work at the same time as me, yet I am the one rushing around feeding the family and doing the errands...grrr...Oh well, I promised I wouldn't complain.(I'll save that for another post)
The weather outside is frightful today. On the way into work I started weaving through the road, and I'm sure I resembled Cruella Deville as I tried to miss sideswiping the vehicle in the lane next to me. That gave me the biggest adrenaline rush. To make matters worse I drove through the biggest puddle(lake) and by the time I got into the parking lot my van died. Of course I was stressed out. I said a little "911 prayer" and came back out to the van 10 minutes later and it started up with no issues. Thank you lord!
I have been busy in my free time doing the Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels work out dvds. These dvds are amazing. I'm hoping I stay focused so that come spring I will be ready to hit the pavement for some walk to run program. I'd like to try a spin class as well. I think that will keep me going for the winter. I have been trying to do the Eat Clean diet, but do find myself sometimes "cheating". My sugar intake has been minimal, which I am glad. I've done good with the carbs as well on the whole.
So where have I been? Between work, family, home..and facebook...I haven't been up to much else. I can kind of feel the winter blues coming up strong, so I need to make sure I do what I can to try and fight them off.
I hope everyone that reads this finds themselves well!!
Stay warm!
~Jenny

Walking for Facebook

Well here I am sitting in a deep pit of despair...or most likely feeling the hangover of the msg that I piggishly consumed 5 hours earlier. A proper nursing diagnosis might read: potential risk of abdominal dehiscence as evidenced by bloating due to the increased uptake of msg. Potential side effects may include: edema to the feet, hands(also called "snausages"), the Elvis'ism of the cheeks and necks, and dry mouth. So dry in fact that your tongue has made its home outside of your mouth in hopes of a droplet of anything moist!

I had myself one big old pity party tonight. First off I made the mistake of going down memory lane. Not just going down memory lane, but opening every door of memory I had of my dad and my last words I shared with them. I felt regret, guilt...you name it. The should haves, could haves and would haves were coming out of my mouth. If onlies were next..."if only I could just say goodbye..." Do I feel better now?? Not really. I just feel sad. I do know that life is what it is. There will be no more second chances, no more hugs or fond farewells, and I am okay with that, but the simple truth of this all is that I miss my dad and life sucks (big ol' donkey balls )sometimes. Plain and simple.

So after wallowing in my sadness I began to feel pretty pissed off with myself. I work my butt off at work...I don't saunter down the halls or down the stairs. I work hard. I go, go go. But...when I'm at home...I am slothlike in all of its glory. Normally comfortably fitting shirts have become Richard Simmons-like on me. I'm rocking out the look of the half shirts my friends. At first I was convinced that my dryer was shrinking my clothes but a closer look in the mirror (which was followed by a "holy muther effer who the hell is that" kind of shriek!) I realized that it was just my gutt growing..ughh... Seriously...I swear I'm the laziest person known to mankind right now. Tonight, instead of going to the basement to call my kids to bed, I sent my oldest a facebook message telling him to send him and his brothers upstairs so I could say goodnight. Frig...what have I become??(and did I really admit this to everyone??)

I lack motivation. If I could get an exercise bike that could power the computer..man I'd be in shape. I know that I NEED to start moving. I need to start eating better at home. I see some of the patients that come into the hospital and I don't want to become that person. I know that there are many people in this world that would love the gift of mobility. I am mobile, and don't treat it like it's a blessing. Things need to change.

So in my post msg hangover state that I'm in, I'm challenging myself to"Walking for Facebook". Every minute I walk will be a minute I can spend on the computer. This sounds quite difficult, drastic some may say,perhaps even impossible but I am doing this. (or will try doing this). I know my extra chins and gluteus gradiose will thank me in the long run.

Will anyone join me in this challenge?(and if you don't hear from me for a few days, you know things aren't going quite as I planned...)

~jenny

Seven

Seven more Days!!! Woo-hoo!!

I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter weekend! I had to work Saturday and Sunday, but had a great day today with my family. It's special days like this that makes one grateful for what they have. We are so blessed. Our children are fantastic, my husband is the best man I've met. Not only is he friggen hot(because that does matter...lol)he is funny, loving, loyal and my best friend. He stands beside me through all the crap I have to deal with at times and he gets me through those times. I'm a lucky girl. I also have a fantastic family that loves me for who I am. I don't have to put up with any unnecessary bullshit from people. I swear some people like to try and drum up trouble and issues. This shows their own insecurities. We quite enjoy not having to deal with the crap.

For Mother's Day my hubby made me the most beautiful book full of all of photos of me growing up. He painstakingly used his editing software to fix the photos. It is beautiful. I'll share the link in the next few days. It's nice that I have a special book to house all of the special photos...photos of my dad. I sure miss my dad. He also found some video of him and it brought some tears to our eyes. What a great man he was. I know that he's proud of me and our family. I thought about him this weekend and wondered how he felt when he met Jesus. Did he cry? Did he try to voice an opinion about the inadequacies of Heaven?? lol Whatever his reaction was I know that he is in good hands.

This week is going to be a busy week for me. I have 1 day off before going to Vancouver, then Vegas....eeeek. I have a lot to do. When we get back we are in semi-reno mode. I'll share some paint swatch colours in the next couple of weeks. Woo-hoo....I love painting and decorating. We have started weeding our garden, got all the leaves burned and are getting our deck/yard ready for summer. The thing that sucks about having an acre of land is the work that goes along with it. Oh well...I should not complain. We are very fortunate to have the house and property we do. (and it is only an acre...cannot imagine the work involved with lots of land)

Blog wise, I think it's time for a change. I'm going to try Wordpress. I have all of my old bloggy contacts, so when I switch over I'll contact everyone with my new address. Change is always good!

Hope everyone is fantastic. Remember to love the life you are living....we only get one shot at it on Earth...make the moments matter!

:)

-Jenny

The Final Countdown...

....so excited!!!

Life is Beautiful

I am so happy....I got a job at the hospital!! Yee-haw!! So I am now employed at two different facilities! This means I am going to be super busy the next few months, but I couldn't be more thrilled. My hubby thinks I am nuts that I am thrilled that I will be working my arse off,but it's a job I love! I am also doing a Mental Health College course that starts in May, so time is going to be very valuable for us. Plans have begun for our Disneyland vacation...and the countdown has begun for Vegas Baby!! The boys are doing amazing these days! Seamus and his two companions won first place in the Northwest Pacific Music festival for Woodwind trio. They did a minuet(not sure of the spelling) and it was beautiful. Not sure where he gets his talent from but we are so proud. Next month he leaves on a band trip to Richmond for the Nationals. He is so excited...I know they will kick some band ass! I have my official cap and gown ceremony at the end of May. I'm not sure who in my class is walking up, or if I'll be the only one, but I looking forward to it. The Damstrom cup has begun in our household. I'm not sure if I have explained it before, so excuse me if you have heard this before. Scott made a tin foil Stanley cup-like thingy....we put toonies and loonies in it for a few weeks. Near the end we add a few bills. Last year, we also threw in street hockey gear...goalie pads and a helmet. The goal is who chooses the winning Stanley Cup team. So...like I said, betting has begun. I'm not sure who is in the lead, but I will keep everyone informed. The boys are getting excited about the upcoming soccer season. Thankfully, Scott has amazing hours at his job...he works 3 days one week and 4 days the next, with every weekend off. So it looks like he will become the soccer parent this season. We are also looking forward to our Staycation here in Terrace for July. I will take a couple of weeks off and we will be doing camping, hiking and fishing. Not much is newsworthy. My life is where it should be. I am loving the life I am living. I am blessed beyond measure with a gorgeous man who loves me, and 3 healthy, happy and loving boys. I have family that love and respect me, who I treasure very much. What more could a girl want? Hope everyone is loving the life they are living.... :) ~Jenny

Vegas Baby

Well it's been a looonnnnng time since I have updated. Life is going fantastically!! I passed my national exams, I have a job that I love and my family is doing great these days. My boys are growing up so quickly. I can't believe that my oldest will be turning 14 tomorrow. Scott just had a hernia repair, which is healing nicely. Other than his constant moanings (which earned him the nickname Moaning Mertle) he has been doing fine. We are heading to Vegas the beginning of May and are so excited!! I can't wait. We get to go with awesome company. My sisters from other misters and my brother in laws, plus Scott's cousin and her husband. It.is.gonna.rock!!! Vegas look out!! The countdown has officially begun. In November we are taking our family to Disneyland! I am so excited for this. We haven't told the kids and are trying to keep it as a surprise. Scott and I have already begun talking about our next travels, just him and I and it is going to be somewhere tropical. Especially after this winter. It was brutal. So next winter we are going to do a cheap 1 week getaway, just the two of us. Like I said Life is good. The weather has been fantastic. It's days like this that makes me grateful for living in beautiful BC. Hope all is well..... ~Jenny