Thursday, October 16, 2008

Let the Fundraising Begin

I'm not sure if most of you know this but next year will be my 20 year grad reunion. Yay...(followed by a deep sigh.....)
I'd like to pretend that I am so confident in who I am and what I look like. Actually, I'll take that back...I am confident in who I am. I just wouldn't mind a slightly younger, smaller version of who I am.
I'm doing the workouts, eating right(for the most part...I did cheat tonight and have the most delish piece of banana bread)but my body isn't morphing into the shape I want it to.
I'm starting to feel panicky.
At my 10 year reunion it was awesome. It was fun to meet up with some old friends, but it didn't matter what size I was...I was pregnant!! I didn't tell most that I got reaquainted with, that my body had taken on the pregnant look permanently from the past pregnancy. I just let those that didn't know assume that I was "enjoying" the pregnancy.
Which brings me to now. I have a couple of options. I could don a fake maternity look and go for the whole deception thing. Which probably wouldn't work because I don't like deceiving people and would probably fuel more rumours when they noticed a supposed pregnant mama shooting back some tequila shots. Option 2 is something I have been thinking about. I could do a quick trip to Vancouver and visit a local specialist(wink wink...plastic surgeon) and get myself a "20 year reunion" package. I'm sure they have these. I'm even more confidant that perhaps they'd have a "no interest for 12 month" payment option as well.'s some prices for cosmetic procedures. I'll highlight in green the ones that would apply to me:

Exclusive Cosmetic Surgery Package

Facial Procedures
Baggy Eyelids -Upper $1220(thankfully this doesn't apply)
Baggy Eyelids (Upper or Lower)$1460
Baggy Eyelids (Upper & Lower)$2240
Full Facelift~$2750(Might as well tighten it all up!)
Lower - Facelift~$1800
Threadlift~$1120(???What the heck is a threadlift??)
Dimples~$650(for one side)(I already have one)
Necklift (extensive) - when done with facelift~$1390
Necklift (extensive) when done without facelift~$1800
Liposuction of chin [under local anesthesia and outpatient](to remove double chin)~$850
Endoscopic or Coronal (through the scalp) Forehead Lift~$1885
Browlift through upper eyelid~$1205
Hair Transplant - Quote is per hair graft~$2.75 per hair graft(I am thinning out...How bout $50 bucks worth???LOL)
Lip Augmentation~$950(I do have big lips so this is a no go)
Cheek Implant (Both cheeks)~$2140(I actually like my cheeks...go figure)
Chin Implant/Chin Augmentation~$1395(I always wanted a bit more of a chin,but won't change the structure too much!)
Liposculpture full face~$1375(Is this removing fat from the face??...if so...hmmmm?)
Split Ear Lobule - Two ~$610(What the heck is this??)
Fat Transfer for sunken eyes~$600(I've got a helluva lotta fat to transfer from my ass and gut...wonder if I can trade some for some work??)
Don't need any of this...I quite like my nose.
Cosmetic Rhinoplasty~$2650
Nasal Tip correction~$1800

Body Contouring Procedures(Now we are talking....)
Abdominoplasty-Large~$3950(I think it would have to be a large abdomino-whatever...lotta abs must go...)
Liposuction - one region~$1645(Only one region...I need the friggen septic hose to come and start sucking the fat away!!!)
Liposuction Circumferential thigh & buttocks~$3290(Yeah I better get this as well!)
Total Lower Body Lift~$7250(Hmm...probably cheaper to go this route??)
Central Body Lift~$6040
Upper Body Lift~$5380
Brachyplasty~$2200(who knows what this is??)
Thigh and Buttock Lift~$5710(so I guess if you take out the fat you gotta lift it up??)
Tuck Fatty Skin in Pubic Area~$2410(???They better not be seeing any of that!!)
Thigh lift (Thighplasty)~$3620(Better deal to get the butt and thighs done together...kill two birds with one scapel!)
Varicose Vein Stripping-major~$1800(no veins...thankfully!!)
Varicose Vein Stripping-minor~$1375

Breast Procedures
I wanted big boobs...I am keeping them.
Mammoplasty- Augm. With Smooth Saline implant~$2905
Mammoplasty- Augm. With Cohesive Gel implant~$2905
Mammoplasty Reduction~$3620
Mastopexy- Breast lift~$2565
Mastopexy with saline/silicone implants~$3585
Removal of Breast implants~$2225
Gynocomastia (Male Breast Reduction)~$2820

Non-Invasive Treatments
Chemical Peel - TCA Peel - Full Face~$395(Why not?)
Botox - per region~$275(Yikes..per region....I'll get 4 regions done than!)

All this for a grand total of $39, 800!!

So the reality is that option 3(which I will explain now) will have to be my option. I'll work out and eat properly for the next few months and that's me for who I am(could I rent a body double for the night???)oy...I hope I don't win the "she-sure-let-herself-go"award!!(Cuz come on gals, you know we all think it of some!)
(Wonder if they do vehicle trade ins....??)



Roxrocks said...

A friend of mine just had a boob job (she's now a B-cup) and she said it was the worst pain ever. I couldn't do any of that stuff, even the badly needed botox to the forehead!

Just be yourself Jenny, and they will love you! (And if they don't, screw em!)

Nin said...

aw! You're amazing Jenny! You're healthy, you're fit, you're a runner! You're choosing LIFE! These are all things that I would hope would bring your head up SUPER high, walking into a reunion.

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