As Lucy posted on her blog the other day we had discussed the topic of lurkers. I think there are certain degrees of lurkingness. The first type is someone who I probably know of to some extent(have visited on their blog and have commented occasionally) and don't really comment that much or at all.(this form of lurking doesn't bother me too much) The second is the lurkers who I have no idea who they are, but visit on a constant basis and have never left a simple hi, or bye or whatever. Then there are the lurkers that simply drive me over the edge: those that may know of me and my family outside of the world of bloggin' and read up on us all the time, but never say a word, but you hear through the grapevine that they read your blog on a daily basis. (I'm not talking about our family!! I started this blog for all of our family members to have an idea what was going on in our lives...so read away!!)
So you're fascinated with the fact that I have a new story to tell...maybe my husband has caught a fish...or maybe (gasp) I'm angry at my husband for leaving the toilet seat up! Now that must be newsworthy!! I also was miffed to hear that some may think I am sharing too much information online...or they were mad with something that I had written.
Well if what I write may bother you...here's a simple solution...Don't read it!! Also if you think I am sharing too much information about my family online than...well...don't read it. I think it boils down to the snoop factor. We all have it in us to see how others may live. If I go to a blog and don't like what I am reading I never return. Also at some point in my visits to a blog I will leave a friendly hello to let the blog owner know that I have visited. I think it's a common courtesy.
It does make you wonder and think before you write. I've edited what I have written and deleted post because I think,for example,do I want so and so to know that my husband rawks my world? I think I have been fairly cautious but I do have certain regrets with my blog. If there is something really personal going on in my life this will be the last place I will vent.
There was a suggestion for me to change my blog addresse, but I won't. I have made wonderful friends through my blogging and I like my blog. Why should I have to change it?
I think it is a lesson to just throw more caution to the wind. Certain topics I will not share or discuss.
I had started a weight loss blog for online support to help win my battle. I had a few comments here and there but there was a lot of people really interested in reading how my days were going but would never comment(I love sitemeter!). This kind of bothered me because I threw out all my weaknesses out in the public forum and didn't get the same kind of support back. It was a lesson for me. I realized I should not have shared all of my struggles so openly and freely. ("Oh man did you see Mamaliscious at Tim Horton's having a doughnut? So much for dieting!...not exact scenario, but you get the point.)
Anyhow I don't mean to offend anyone. I am not meaning to target a certain individual I just wanted to share my opinion on lurkers. Feel free to lurk, but it's when you start to make comments to others about what I may write, or not like what I have written about, is when I have a problem. I enjoying coming here and being myself. If I offend you then it would be best to stop reading. I am not an offensive person, I am just me. A SAHM to 3 boys who still thinks her husband is the sexiest man in this world. I may even throw out the odd profanity or two, but that's who I am. Just me being real.
Will this get rid of the lurkers? Probably not, but it feels great to talk about it. But maybe the lurkers may think twice about commenting to others about what I have written. Probably not, but it's worth the effort.
I feel like a weight has been lifted. Had to vent!! I am Mamaliscious...hear me ROAR!!
Hope all is well!!
Have a great day!
Jenny
2 years ago
11 comments:
Wow! Finally, someone who will tell it like it is as far as lurking goes. I don't have a sight meter...kind of scared to get one.
I check out your blog often...even a couple of times a day...just to see if there is anything new. And sometimes I don't comment because I either don't know what to say...or don't know how to say it, or just plain old don't have anything to say.
I think its just a harsh reality...blogging, there are just some who don't get it. And what bothers me the most is people who love reading my blog, and don't comment, and say that they don't have time to have their own blog...makes no sense whatsoever! If you have no time to blog, then you have no time to read my blog. And when people start thinking that they "know" me just because of my blog...little do they know how little I really share on my blog...its just a fraction of who I really am.
Thanks for this post.
Hi Jenny. So I'm not considered a 'lurker' I thought I would say hi. This is the very first time I read your blog.. and I got the link from someone elses blog. I had a quiet Saturday morning and thought I would check out some blogs. I like your style of writing.. and what you say about lurkers is true. And what you say about personal information is also true. If they don't like to read it - then don't! My attitude as well. I started my blog off as weight loss, then pregnancy, now back to weight loss... but lots of personal stuff too. Maybe I'm niave to think that no-one really cares about my life. So I write whatever I want. And so should you! BTW... good luck with the competition. You have a great blog, and I think you've got a good chance to win!
I'm not talking about you or any of my friends or family.
It's the 3rd lurker I described that irks me the most!
Anyhow I guess if you lurk me I'm just as guilty with you! I check yours tons! Probably good thing you don't have a sitemeter...you might think who is that crazy lurker who checks every couple of hours and then ban my IP.
Anyhow ttyl.
I'm not a lurker! I'm your friend!!
haha, I enjoy you tons...your honesty is refreshing & who cares if you offend some people...just keep being you.
I like ya.
Yes lurkers annoy me too!! Especially the anti-Christians who leave comments. I've found they often have pornographic links on their blogs so that even their name which has a link to their blog annoys me. I have since switched my settings so that comments need my approval. I'm glad I finally did this.
It is soooo true......I hate lurkers...they leave annonymous comments....and I am already very careful as to how personal the content is.....but I don't worry about the lurkers either because really the are out there whether I like it or not!
Blessings
Um, well hi :-) I've been reading your blog off and on for a while - can't even remember where I first found the link. Don't think I've ever said hello, but it never occurred to me that lurkers could be a problem. My blog (according to my site-meter) gets about 35 reads per day, and I get maybe one or two comments, if I'm lucky. I'm just amazed (and slightly flattered, I guess) that so many people want to read my ramblings. I know, it's almost nobody in the scheme of things, but still - I have NO idea who most of my readers are. That's OK with me... if I were writing for a magazine I'd have probably thousands of unknown readers!
Sue, it's really not the unknowns that are bothering me. If someone wants to read about me from Timbuktu than that's cool. I have more issues with the people closer to home that never say boo to me, but can comment to others how I should be doing things differently. This is my problem and that was the only way I knew how to throw out a hint.
I should have clarified myself more.
I only have a couple of friends from my "real life" who know about my blog. I like it that way. My blog is mine, for me, and no one else.
Now that I know you have sitemeter (and don't you just LOVE it?!) you probably see that I check your blog about 80 times a day. Yes, I think it's OCD. No, I don't think there is a cure. hahah!
Chunks, I check all of my blogging pals lots (extreme OCD) so don't feel bad.
WELL SAID!
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