Friday, August 18, 2006

Get Glasses and Hit the Heart!!!

I've had it up to here!! Please note I have just pointed to a seriously sore hip!! I swear that someone has a voodoo doll of me somewhere. If I have done you wrong, please stop the jabbings, cuz man it's becoming insufferable!! I swear that someone is trying to jab Jenny the voodoo doll in the heart, but they are suffering from myopia (nearsightedness) and the needle keeps missing the heart and hitting the hip. This is my theory. How else can I explain that every day I do something that causes injury to my hip??? Today as we were heading out the door I tripped over our picnic dinner and hurt big time. At the lake I was fishing and walked over a stump and tripped and stumbled and the damn hip hurt like a mudder fudder!!
Yesterday I went for a walk with the boys and my gorgeous niece and my hip killed me the whole way. The day before....(the list continues and continues).
I told Scott the theory of someone having a voodoo doll of me and he just rolled his eyes and said, "only you would think of something like that!" Then he said, "babe I think the key word in this all is...TRIP!"
"I hate to tell it to you but you're the biggest klutz I know!" he said smiling.
Thanks for the sympathy. I'll stick to the Myopia Suffering Voodoo practiser. Me? A Klutz?? Nah............
In other news:
I have had a great week. Tonight we had the Great Toad Adventure. We tried to find the biggest toad at the lake but no one could catch it. We saw the toad.... unfortunately, he outwitted, outplayed and outlasted us all. (sorry guys couldn't resist).
I'm having my parents over for dinner tomorrow night. It should be interesting. They just came back from Vancouver. My children scored amazing clothes from the Gap and Old Navy. I hardly have to buy anything for school. My mom is so good to the boys. She bought me an awesome black leather purse from Aldo. I have a thing for purses. I own many!!!
She phoned a little while ago.
"Jenny...did you happen to take our remote home with you?" she asked in a panic stricken voice.
"Why would I take your remote home? We have our own!"I answered.
"I can't find it and dad's getting mad!"(and you could hear him yelling in the background,"don't they have their own remote?")
"Did you look under the bed?" I answered (the remote was for their bedroom tv)
"No. Okay I'll talk to you later!" then she hung up.
15 seconds later the phone rang~"We found the remote it was under the bed!"she exclaimed.
2 hours later the phone rang again and I saw it was them and contemplated whether to answer the phone.
"Hey Mom!" I answered.
"You erased the history and dad can't check his work emails!"she said curtly.
"Oh. Well just type in the address!" I answered.
"Address? What addresse?" she asked.
"The addresse to the place where you want to check your emails from?" I said.
"Well how do I know where that is?"she asked.
"www. something" I replied.
"Oh that's an addresse. Okay!" she answered and hung up.
(I did erase the history because I checked my blog and my fellow blogger pals from their computer and didn't want her to find out I have a blog site. Plus I didn't want her to think my dad was checking strange pervy sites after she saw the name mamaliscious!)
Anyhow I haven't heard back so all must be good....I certainly hope so.
Like I said the visit was good. We walked, went to some awesome parks, went to the beach (where Scott won't let the kids play too much in the water cuz he thinks their body parts will deteriorate from the pollution!!)and hung out.
I ended up with an awful migraine. As a migraine sufferer I am prone to having a migraine from certain things. Bright lights are a biggy with me. parents own a huge 53 inch rear projection TV. There is a problem with the c...ver...gence(I'm not typing the word cuz she might google it and come to the site...sneaky I am!!). Anyhow you turn the tv on and there's waves of reds and greens dancing around the tv and every word is doubled!! So it makes for watching tv literally sickening. The funny thing is they didn't even notice there was a problem until I pointed it out to them!!
"What's wrong with the TV?" I had mentioned to my dad a few months earlier.
"Nothing's wrong with the TV!"he said.
"There's some doubling of the letters going on!"I had answered.
"I don't see anything wrong...DANNA!"he had replied.
Then 3 days later I got the phone call..."Jenny, there's something wrong with the TV!"
That was probably February or March. They still haven't got it fixed.
"Oh it's not too bad!" my mom says when I complain about it.
Not too bad!! I began to watch General Hospital and after I had watched 35 minutes of the show I was laying on the couch groaning and moaning!! The headache was severe...I could see flashes of lights....I was feeling sick to my stomach!!!
Seamus was alarmed and said, "mommy are you okay?"
"The TV..."I moaned in a Elaine-ish style of groan..."the tv...turn it off!"
To which he turned it off and after a cup of tea, some advil migraine pills I was feeling better!!
It was an eventful visit to my parents to say the least. So tomorrow's dinner will be just as eventful I am sure.
When we were at the beach I said to the boys, "does mommy ever do anything that embarasses you?"
Both shook their heads and I did a little sigh of relief to myself.
"Cuz if I ever do anything please say mommy you're embarassing me and I'll stop doing it!" I added. "When mommy was little and I was playing soccer grampa and gramma would come driving up in their old beater car with no exhaust and park right on the sidelines of the soccer field and blare their music...That was embarassing!"
"Yeah Grampa can be a little embarassing,"Jonas said,"whenever we go to McDonalds he just closes his eyes and sings Pink Floyd loudly!"(on a side note: how cool is it that my 6 year old knows who Pink Floyd is!)
"That's embarassing mommy!"he smiled.
"Yeah it's a little embarassing but not so bad."Seamus said.
Phew...I haven't hit that stage yet.
Today when my dad came over to our house from the airport can you guess what he did?? He sat on the armchair, crossed his leg, closed his eyes and instead of singing, he began whistling, "Comfortably Numb!" Yeah the sound that was coming from his voice was numbing us all!!!
We got the giggles but he never once noticed!!! He spent most of the visit whistling. We all become oblivous to the sounds...
Should make for an interesting dinner!!!
Anyhow I am rambling like there's no end in sight.
I am going to call it a night and hang out with my husband for a little bit.(and soak the hip!)
Like I said if there's a voodooer out there that has a bone to prick with me, please please I am sorry for whatever I did to anger you!!
But...enough with the hip!!!

Enjoy your evening!

And for the record I do not believe in voodoo practises or condone it at all. It really is a way for me to poke fun at myself for my clutziness.


Tanya said...

Oh're sure having a time with that hip of yours...I feel for you.

And your parents still don't have that tv fixed? Wow...that would drive me nutts.

Glad that you had a good time out in Kitimat. Sorry that you had the headache to deal with though. Hope that hip heals soon.

Pen said...

hahaha, thank goodness your back! You're blog totally cracked me up.

xo Pen

Chunks said...

I loved the disclaimer.

Oh and your days of embarassing your kids are something to look forward to, trust me, you will find JOY in embarassing them some day! I know I do. Maybe I am just twisted.

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