Monday, July 17, 2006

Like Mother, Like Daughter

There's certain characteristics I have inherited from my parents. There are obvious physical ones which I would like to not admit to (body shape of my father) and there are others that are certainly getting more recognizable. (My unwillingness not to buy any form of food that isn't marked as a sale item!)
I also have a thing for celebrities...and I learned this from my mom.
Last week my mom phoned and from the sound of her voice I knew there was trouble!
"I bet you she doesn't exist!" she proclaimed.
"huh?" I questioned.
"Oh right...Hi Jenny...I bet it was all a ploy!" she proceeded to carry on from the last unrational statement.
"Okay...who?"I asked (but did I really want to know?!)
"I thought he was gay all along, nothing wrong with that, but be a man and say you are then!"she ranted.
"Umm...?"I sighed.
"That baby has been born for 3 months and nobody has seen her!"she said.
"What baby?" I asked.
"Suri...Tom Cruise's baby! I bet you he hired Katie Holmes to act like she was pregnant and the baby doesn't exist!"she said.
"Mom...I highly doubt that!" I said.
"And..."she started...
"Oh crap. Gavin just spilled milk on the floor! Gotta go. I'll talk to you later!" I said.
The ol' milk on the floor has saved me a few times from unwanted conversations (as does the"chicken with noodles"answer when someone asks what we're having for supper and I really don't have a clue!)
The next day I went over to their house to spend the day with my mom while Scott and my dad went fishing.
As soon as my big ol' tush was planted on the sofa my mom proceeded to tell me..."did you watch The Insider today?"
"No mom I didn't. "I answered not wanting to know who was doing what in celebrityville.
"A friend of the baby, is who signed Tom Cruise's daugher's birth certificate!" she said with a stern look on her face and a raised eyebrow.
"That's weird...but probably the way celebrities do things." I answered. I didn't want to fuel this conversation any longer than absolutely necessary.
"Yep! They filed the certificate later than 'normal'. I don't think that baby exists! She's out prancing around in parks and never has her baby with her!" My mom said, "and what kind of mom wants to do that!"
"Umm...maybe a mom that can afford some much needed time for herself!" I said.
And then she shot me a look. That look buried me deep in the ground instantaneously!!
I left the room after a couple of uncomfortable moments of silence and then we never touched the subject again......(until)

A couple of nights ago I got another Cruise Baby Conspiracy Theory update via the telephone.
"She's shopping in Harrods...can't believe she doesn't have the baby with her....strange!" my mom said in a huff.
Oh brother...here we go again. What have I done to deserve this?
"Isn't this whole thing just weird?" she asked.
"Mom...I think it's kind of odd that you're a little fixated on this whole situation. Who cares?" I asked.
"I'm not fixated...hmm!" she sighed.
"Don't you just wonder if they really had a baby?" she asked again.
"WHO CARES????? YES A BABY WAS BORN. I read it online somewhere!" I said in a very loud voice, while lying(about reading it online) through my teeth. (hoping an end to this nonsense was coming quick)
"Oh...I kind of thought it was just a rumour!" she replied.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Like I said, some characteristics are easily identified in family.
So tonight I found myself googling Tom Cruise...Suri Cruise...Katie Holmes....
And I found myself saying to Scott 25 minutes ago..."hun don't you think it's strange that no one has seen a picture of Tom Cruise's baby?"

There's no hope for me at all!!

Good night!
Jenny

Let the records show that I truly do love my mother. Her idiosycracies do make for great stories, so that's my reason for sharing.

6 comments:

org junkie said...

Jenny that is hilarious! My mom wouldn't even know who Katie Holmes was. It is strange though isn't it? LOL I'm just as bad. I started ready people.com everyday.

Chunks said...

Oh Jenny, we are living in a parallel universe!

Oh and my word verification word is: efenay F'in-eh! hahah

Jenny said...

I read people.com every day as well. I know that my kids will probably be saying these same things about me in the next 25 years.
I always think that if I'd video tape a family gathering (both sides I might add)we'd hit a jackpot if we sent the video in for funniest moments.

Pen said...

hehehe, Jenny too funny! I swear my Mom lives through tv shows though. We call to talk to her and you can tell that nothings getting through so I'll ask "What show are you watching Mom?"
"huh" (pause as question registers) "What do you mean, i'm talking to you!" (indignant tone, lol)
I'm thinking from the stories you've shared that you'd be in the running for the big prize!
xo Pen

Chunks, giggling over your verification word.

Lucy said...

Sister that is sooooo funny, cause my mother does the same thing, except with soap operas.

Jenny said...

Yes Chunks we do live in parallel universes!!! Too bad you didn't live so far away!!
Great pics BTW!!! I told Scott that's somewhere we have to venture to sometime soon!!!

 
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