Friday, April 14, 2006

Mr. Sensitive

Scott can truly be a loving and sensitive husband. For example, he has put up with me and my questions about the bible for the last few months. Certain things he just kind of smirks at with what I question him about. He's always supportive with these questions (he knows alot and is able to help me ) and never makes me feel like an idiot with the questions I have.
Like I just explained, he can be a loving and sensitive husband;however, there are times when he's just clueless...
The other day I was talking to my beloved husband. I was recapping the conversation that I had with my 3 year old...
"He said I looked like a donkey!" I said chuckling expecting affirmation that indeed I didn't, but...
"well nothing wrong with a donkey...they're kind of cute!" he said obviously not thinking!!
"ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I DO LOOK LIKE A JACKASS?!" I asked deeply disturbed by his insensitivity.
"No...I said a donkey...donkeys are cute!!"he replied...to which I huffed out of the room. 15 minutes later he realized what he said and said, "hun, you're beautiful...but my point is that if you did look like a donkey there's nothing wrong with that cuz donkey's are cute in their own way!"
"In their own way?????" (Is my husband truly brain dead??) "In their own way?"I stomped off again...
Ten minutes later he came back downstairs..."you know I've been thinking and you look NOTHING like a donkey...you're beautiful!"
3 attempts it took for him to say the right response!!! Primal Scream...aaaaggh!!
~Scott and I had errands to run yesterday and he was on my nerves. (I truly do love him with every ounce of who I am I promise!!) It didn't help matters that Aunt Flow was visiting big time and Scott was feeling a bit "stressed!" Our to do list was a to do novel so we set out to get it completed. We hit the usual stomps along the way and ended the early afternoon with a quick stop to Safeway.
I don't like grocery shopping with my husband on a normal day. I certainly don't like shopping with my husband when I am feeling gross and crampy and my husband is stressing out over his son's birthday party and whether or not the carpets will be vaccumed in time. On the way into the store I said, "hun, you'll have to help me...I'm not feeling good at all!"
"Yeah...no prob babe!"he said.
We walked into the store and I got the cart and began to walk towards the bakery. By the time I hit the bakery counter my husband had disappeared...had he been sucked up by a giant vacuum...because surely he wouldn't leave his wife after she just lectured him...surely he wouldn't? (Would he??)
I picked out the cake and began to get some bread. I was beginning to mutter..."If he's in the magazine aisle looking at the Maxim magazine that's it...I'm chucking this loaf of bread at him!"
I hit the magazine aisle...there stood my husband who had picked up an Iced tea and was browsing at a magazine...I was going to throw the bread, but then realized it was the Mens Health, so I couldn't justify making a scene over the Mens Health magazine.
"Hey babe...got the cake?" he asked with his gorgeous smile beaming.
"Thanks for helping Scott!" I said.
I really am a woman that can grocery shop without my husband but for some reason it just irked me that he gets to stand back, sip an Iced tea and peruse a magazine, while Menstruating Mamaliscious had to fight cramps while grocery shopping!!
So off I went. I went to the cashier and Scott mysteriously appeared...
"did you get everything?" he asked.

"I dunno!" I answered.
"Crap...I forgot cheese slices for the hamburgers!"I said.
"Do you want me to get them?" he asked.
"Yes Scott that would be helpful!" I answered curtly.
So off he went...the groceries were rung up and there were people waiting and they were starting to huff and puff!
"Did he get lost?" I asked the cashier in embarassment.
"Just wait a moment and I'll go see!" I said and began to dart across the grocery store with Gavin following closely behind.
I found Scott...he was standing with his friend having a good ol' conversation. They were laughing and chatting...
I walked over and grabbed the cheese out of his hand and darted back to the cashier..."I'll be there in a minute hun!" he replied with a big smile on his face.....
"A minute hun......!" Hmmm...I took the groceries loaded them and Gav into the van and started the van up...5 minutes passed and I was mad...10 minutes and I was angry...15 minutes passed and Menstruating Mamaliscious was damn right peeved...20 minutes passed and I pulled out of the grocery store and went to the bank machine...muttering the whole time there.
"If daddy's not out of that store when I get back to the parking lot...he's walking home!" I said to Gavin.
"Daddy's in twubble!" he said.
So I left the bank machine drove up to the Safeway parking lot and was ready to keep going and there stood my husband with a big grin on his face...."hey babe, I wondered what happened to you?" he asked.
"ARE YOU BLOODY JOKING? I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR 31 MINUTES....THAT IS THE MOST DISRESPECT ANYONE HAS EVER SHOWN ME!!!! EVEN MY WORST ENEMY WOULDN'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT!" I ranted.
"Oh sorry babe...I feel bad, but I haven't had a chance to visit with Jim for awhile!" he replied.
"Then go out to coffee with him!" I yelled.
Just then the phone rang and it was Scott's buddy Al. Scott answered, "hey man, yeah we're just finishing the shopping..."
We...being the real operative word!!!
Anyhow those are my Darling Husband stories...
Today was a new day and he was on his best behaviour!!! I am glad that I have the kind of marriage that I do...truly if the biggest complaint I have about my husband is that he's a neat freak, or he disappears in a grocery store or he is a friendly person or that he thinks donkeys are cute...hey our marriage is amazing. Today I was confiding in him something and he just looked at me and said, "Jen...just remember you're amazing...nothing else matters except that we love ya!" He's right on this time and it didn't take 45 minutes to word it!!!
Enjoy your evening!
Jenny
"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart"- Kahlil Gibran

2 comments:

Pen said...

Sometimes men have the worst timing, okay so more often then not, lol.
I love your stories, there real, real funny and most times they bring a smile or chuckle.

Tanya said...

husband's...gotta love em!!

 
Designed by Lena