Today we registered for our courses and got our time table. There are 7 courses..in the first semester. I've been plugging along with one measley Biology course for the past 7 months. I began to have a semi-private panic attack.
"What if I don't do well?"...."What if I can't manage?" "I don't want major changes!"
I was slightly bothered. I am slightly bothered and scared.
I was just sitting at the computer waiting for my cookies to bake and then it came to me, "What if they don't need me?"
I think this is the big ticket here.
I've been a SAHM for my kids whole life. I know that I'm the center of this household. I go above and beyond for my kids and my husband, not because I have to, but because I want to. I like our special moments as a family. I love that I make everyone's lunches and write them happy faces on their oranges.
But...what if they don't need me?
At the end of next year, maybe I won't be that important to them? Maybe they won't need me.
I know it sounds silly. I know it's mommy guilt. I just want to be needed by my boys and my husband because they complete me.
I'm sure someone will send me a message about me having to complete myself, but truly, I like that we are all pieces to this family puzzle that connects and fits together perfectly.
I just don't want to break any pieces of this puzzle.
2 days ago