Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2009



It's almost here and honestly I am glad. 2008 was the hardest year I've had to endure in my life. There are so many things I learned, relearned, lived and endured, I'm not sure I could ever put my true feelings into words.

Love: I learned that the greatest joys in life are love. I knew that before, but when you are in pure emotional despair and grief, love is what will get you through. I knew how much my husband loved me before, but after this year I really know what that love is about. We have laughed together, cried together, hugged each other, and sat quietly knowing that our love for each other and that of our children could carry us through. I'm amazed that my marriage continues to flourish. It's a beautiful thing.


I relied deeply on my faith when my dad passed away. I know that it was God's will and there is a reason for why he had to die,but I can't say that it has been an easy undertaking in handing it over to God. I still struggle with anger...I still question my faith,but in the end I know that this is a learning curve for me. I've realized that this isn't a perfect world. It's a world that can challenge a person with heartache,but in the end it's how you handle it all. Life is what we make it. There's always good to be had.



Family: My family continues to be my greatest blessing. I'm amazed at my mom's strength and at how our relationship seems to be strengthening. I have leaned on my sister and am proud of her strength. My boys continue to ground me and give me the biggest smiles a mom could have. That's what life is all about. Smiling...laughing and keeping it simple.
When my dad passed away Scott's family were absolutely amazing to us. They watched our kids, booked our airplane tickets, comforted us, cried with us and reminded me that blood really isn't thicker than water. I felt loved and honoured to be amongst such a great family. Those acts of kindness and gratitude will never go forgotten.
Friends: This year I felt my connections with my friends strengthen and blossom. I'm blessed by so many people who love me and accept me for who I am. Thanks to all....those I know in 'real life' and my wonderful blogger family.
I know that I've let the death of my dad overshadow my year. I'm feeling ready to let some of that go.
Here's some of the Highlights(thanks to Rox) that happened this year:
~skiing, hockey, cubs, friends, girlfriends, music, camping, visit with the family and nephews, fishing, fishing and more fishing, hiking, laughter, rock bands, guitar heroe, dancing, dancing and more dancing, and laughter...lots of laughter, kisses and hugs!!!
~I finished the learn how to run 5k and was amazed that I did accomplish that. I know that I will be doing that again!! This time I will keep up the running!!
~visits with my girlfriends, girls group, coffees, late night chats...:)
~thinking my dad had only hours to live but was given five more days. In those days I told him everything I could tell him. I told him how proud I was, my fears, my love...silly moments. I'll always remember spilling my heart to him and him having a tear roll down his face and then him giving me a squeeze of his hand and a big wink!! What a blessing!!!
~Seeing a smile on my dad's face when he died. I knew he had peace and all was good for him. No more pain...
Well time it's almost time for 2008 to be over....I'm ready to take on 2009!!
Happy New Year!!

~Jenny

4 comments:

Roxrocks said...

My turn.
Bawling.
Great post!

(I forgot about the five k...I should try that this year!)

Carol said...

Jenny,
Thanks for sharing your heart with your blogger friends. My mom spent Christmas in the hospital as well as my father in law (in a different city). It was a hard time for us. Mom is now home but my FIL will not be coming home. He will be transferred to a long term care facility. So lots of changes ahead for us in 2009. I don't know what's ahead and if I'm honest, some fear about the changes coming. I've appreciated your honesty and your heart in your posts. It helps me see that if I have to travel the same journey, I know there are friends who have travelled it before me and can encourage me along the way.

Happy New Year.

Tanya said...

Amazing post Jenny! I hope that 2009 brings you so much joy and happiness that you don't know what to do with yourself!!!

Love you!

Janelle said...

i've thought about you lots this Christmas. you talked about your year of trials beautifully. 2009 is going to be awesome for you my dear! :) love ya.

 
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